


Intervention

by Estelathan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Annoying Loki, Annoying Tony, Boredom, Gen, Snark, character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:52:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelathan/pseuds/Estelathan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boredom and Tony had never made good bedfellows-- Though the same could be said of Tony and a certain God of Mischief. Or the one where Tony tries to escape while injured and Loki intervenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intervention

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Warnings: Contains some foul language

If there was anything Tony Stark hated more than overly clingy women and super villains with an ego bigger than his, it was being put out to the metaphorical pasture. Boredom and Tony had never made good bedfellows—there were still unfortunate semi-smoldering piles of wreaked metal that had once been half-baked ideas in his lab to testify to the fact, which was why after a week of being (understandably) grounded by Captain America Tony was going out of his ever-loving mind! Who cared that he had broken his left leg, had an impressive collection of bruised ribs or was still sporting one hell of a goose egg to the back of his head? He needed to get out of there! Screw being injured- the scrap metal that had once been his latest Iron Man suit needed him! Which was why Tony was busting out of there. . .  
  
“Oww! Dammit! Who the hell put that stand there!?” Tony swore, his breath stuttering in his chest as his ribs protested the abuse. Whoever said escaping was an art form certainly hadn’t tried to do so hobbling down the hall on one leg while trying not to breathe too deep at the same time. Tony had only made it a few feet so far and he was already ready to give up.  
  
“You purchased that stand the last time you visited SoHo, sir.” Jarvis’ voice remarked drily above Tony’s frustration. “Perhaps you would have remembered it if you spent more time on this level rather than in your lab.”  
  
“Not- helping. . . Jarvis!” Tony grunted as he finally propelled himself away from the stand and back up against the wall again. “Ca-can’t you just be on my side for once?” He groused as he struggled to catch his breath again.  
  
“If I were ‘not on your side’ as you say I would have alerted Captain Rogers that you are up when you should not be.” Jarvis intoned, impassionate as always.  
  
From his spot hugging the wall Tony grimaced at the thought. Just what he needed- Steve Rogers hovering over him like a worried mother hen watching his every move. Though wait a minute. . . “Where is Cap?” Tony was instantly wary, looking up and down the hall as if he expected to see Steve jump out from around the corner.  “I thought he had pulled babysitting duty this week?”  
  
“Captain Rogers and the rest of the Avengers are currently engaged in battle on the other side of town. Would you like me to open a channel for you?”  
  
“What?! Why didn’t the alarm go off? I should have been notify---“  
  
“Must you two continue to chatter away incessantly? Some of have other things to attend to!” A familiar, haughty voice drawled from the direction of the living room effectively cutting across Tony’s complaints.  
  
Oh, you had to be kidding him. . . Tony’s head shot up in surprise as his mouth worked soundlessly for several moments. It couldn’t- It couldn’t be. . . “Jarvis, identify our unwelcome guest. . .” Tony finally croaked, a sinking feeling in his gut as he pushed his way off the wall and hobbled towards the living room.  
  
As much as Tony was fervently wishing otherwise, there was no denying who their mysterious visitor was when Jarvis piped up: “Visual scans are detecting nothing sir. However, vocal scans match those of Loki, currently the third wanted super villain by SHIELD.”  
  
And yeeeep, as Tony finally hobbled ‘round the corner to the living room there was the little shit himself, looking for all the world like he belonged there in one of Tony’s overstuffed armchair. “Only the third wanted?” Loki drawled, leaning back into the chair and crossing one leg over another as he studied Stark. “What a pity, I shall have to endeavor to try harder the next time I cross your misfit band of heroes.”  
  
Well, damn. If gaping was an Olympic sport Tony was going for the gold today as he stared down Loki. There was a million questions running through his mind: How had Loki gotten in here? What did he want? Could he stand long enough on one leg to suit up and blast the annoying god through the wall? There were supposed to be protocols in place for this kind of thing dammit! After the battle of New York Tony had made sure Jarvis would alert- “Wait a minute!?” Tony held up a hand, pointing to the ceiling. “How are you doing that? Nobody, and I mean nobody sneaks in past Jarvis!”  
  
From his comfortable position in the chair Loki rolled his eyes at the man. For someone who appeared to have more intelligence than most of this pathetic race, the man truly had no grasp of magic. Raising one hand he made a twisting motion with his wrist, the green light of his magic flaring briefly before vanishing again. “And now your strange voice cannot hear me as well. Pity.” Sitting up a tad straighter, Loki smirked.  
  
Tony growled low in his throat, his mind already calculating if it would be worth the agony to suit up if it resulted in kicking Loki’s ass when the object of his thoughts spoke up again. “Cat got your tongue?” Loki all but purred, unable to suppress the shit-eating grin stealing across his face. “Are you afraid of what may happen without your ever-watching voice overhead?”  
  
Afraid? It was the magic word that snapped Tony out of his musings and back to the situation at hand. Afraid? Who was he calling afraid? “Afraid?” Tony chuckled lowly as he started forward again, edging along the wall to the sofa. “Let’s take a recount here: Who kicks whose ass every single time? Huh? I don’t remember it being mine big boy so if anyone should be afraid it should be you!” Tony flashed what was supposed to have been a smug-ass grin, though it was probably a hell of a lot closer to being a grimace as he traded the wall for the back of the sofa.  
  
Loki scowled as he watched the mortal wobble his way around the edge of the room. Even obviously injured and unharmed the man was insufferable. It was little wonder why Thor got along with the mortal so well. Of course the mortal would be quick to rub Loki’s nose in his failures to try masking his weakness, but Loki wasn’t having any of it. “You look like an ungainly bird having fallen from its nest.” He spat, watching Tony warily.  
  
“Says the guy who looks like he escaped Ye Olde Renaissance faire!” Tony bit out with a strangled yelp as he rounded the sofa and ended up practically nose-diving onto it. His nose pressed into fancy super soft leather of the sofa’s backrest, Tony groaned and muttered a few choice curses as he slowly tried righting himself again.  
  
What in Midgard was a renaissance faire? Loki sniffed, turning his nose up as he watched the mortal struggle and swear. He had forgotten how confusing Stark could be though at the moment it hardly mattered; for all his confusing and pointy words the man was practically harmless at present. It was a beautiful thing to see, one Loki would be a fool to pass up. “Pointy words for one so weakened as you Stark.” The force of Loki’s smirk tainted his words. “Even an Asgardian child would be able to best you now!”  
  
“Ahh...” Was Tony’s groaned reply as he laid back, pain white-washing his brains. If it weren’t for the presence of a certain psychotic should-have-been-locked-up-but-kept-escaping god sitting a few feet away Tony would have manly rolled over and died by now. As it was he would even let Loki kill him, if it meant the pain would just stop already.  
  
Loki tilted his head to the side as he studied the man. It was one thing to play with your prey before you pounced upon it, but it was quite boring to watch it whimper and moan like a dying bilgesnipe before one’s eyes. In a strange twist Loki had come to enjoy the mortal’s often confusing, yet sharp, wit. The scene before him, however, was nothing short of pathetic. There was no enjoyment to be gained from tormenting someone considerably weaker than he be it on the battle field or sitting a few feet from him.  With a sigh upon his lips, for he was sure he was going to regret this to some degree, Loki waved his hand in the direction of the mortal and watched with some satisfaction as green light engulfed the man.  
  
He was dying, Tony was sure of it. It hurt to breath, it hurt to move, hell it hurt to even think! And it wasn’t helping any knowing Loki was sitting over there watching Tony dying and probably gloating over it. Tony could only hope, in a delirious pain-filled moment, that when whoever it was that was unfortunate enough to come across his body would tell the rest of the Avengers exactly who had witnessed his untimely demise. They would avenge him. . At least Tony hoped so. Caught up in an endless loop of it-hurts-so-bad-I’ve-got-to-be-dying, Tony wasn’t paying a lick of attention to magic-hands and his sparkly green light show. The burst of magic swirled around him, swooping in and around until it surrounded Tony on all sides before it slowly began sinking into his body. The sensation was similar to being doused in ice water times a thousand- a horrific cold shock-wave that made Tony convulse in pain, a strangled scream upon his lips, before it was suddenly gone.  
  
Loki hummed thoughtfully as he watched; so that was what healing magic would do to a mortal. It was certainly a better show than watching the man whimper and whine like a beaten pup at any rate. The mortal should have felt it working by now, the pain easing from burning agony to nothing more than a dull throb.  
  
Tony was glad Loki was enjoying the show because he certainly wasn’t! He exhaled a long, shuddering breath, momentarily shocked as he tried to make the mental leap between being consumed by overwhelming pain and the sudden absence of it. Several long minutes ticked by in agonizing slowness before the tension finally began fading from the man’s muscles allowing him to uncurl himself ever so slightly. “What did you do to me?” He rasped, turning wide eyes to Loki.  
  
One delicate eyebrow arched up Loki’s forehead at the question. “I would think that would be obvious or have you lost your ability to perceive such since the last time we met?” He shifted and leaned forward, brow wrinkling in confusion.  
  
“I-You-Why?” Tony was a sputtering mess of eloquence as he slowly straightened up and fixed Loki with a piercing stare. “You magic-ed me! Not that I’m complaining here but how? Why? What’s in it for you because if you’re expecting any favors you can just zap me again and forget it bub! I’m not owing favors to some crazy wanna-be supposed Norse god with a total antler fetish—!“ Tony rambled on, pointing at Loki in all dramatic glory.  
  
Now that was more like it, even if the overall effect was starting to give Loki a headache. The god smirked in the face of the mortal’s pointing as he settled himself back into the chair again. “As amusing as it is to see you weak-limbed and temperamental you are no fun in that state.” Loki shrugged, “And as for the mention of favors, as tempting as it is, I shall have to pass on that front. I have little need, nor want, of favors from pathetic mortals like yourself.” He sniffed, looking affronted by the mere idea.  
  
Well that took the wind out of Tony’s sails right there. Did Loki just say he healed him because he was no fun? Wait- did Loki just call him pathetic on top of all that?! That did it; Tony growled, determined to show Loki just how pathetic he was now by getting up and going over there to punch said so-called god in the face only to find the pain return with sharp clarity as he struggled to get up. He yelped and slumped back down, glaring daggers in Loki’s direction. “What the hell was that!?”  
  
“Careful Stark!” Loki intoned, sounding perfectly like a parent reprimanding a small child. “I may have ‘magic-ed’ you as you say but I am no fool. The pain may be gone but the sources still remain.”  It was his insurance policy after all; there was little chance of harm coming Loki’s way from Tony as long as he was too injured to pilot his metal suit.  
  
Tony swore under his breath, shooting Loki a look that, if he had magic powers of his own, could kill. Leave it to none other than the god of lies to do a half-ass healing job! And here Tony was even starting to feel something grudgingly like respect for the guy. . . “What was the point then?” He muttered as he shifted to get comfortable. He might as well since it didn’t appear that he was going anywhere anytime soon.  
  
“Ungrateful pissant! You should be bowing at my feet in gratitude!” Loki scowled and crossed his arms.  
  
“Bowing? Yeah right!” Tony snorted, “Sure Reindeer games, I’ll get right on that!” It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to laugh at someone named ‘The God of Mischief’ but it wasn’t like Tony was well known for his self-preservation instincts, that and he couldn’t help it anyway: he laughed.  
  
Loki glowered at the mortal’s insolence and suddenly leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “I’d be careful if I were you Stark. . . I could do much worse than ease your misery!”  
  
That certainly served to sober Tony up in a hurry. “Fine,” He huffed, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “How about we discuss what you’re doing here then? What do you want this time? Fix your performance issues and come to sway me into your life of evil?”  
  
“Why must you automatically assume I want something?” Loki’s eyes glittered as he regarded Tony. “Perhaps seeing you weakened and temperamental is enough for me.”  
  
Weakened and temperamental- Wasn’t that just a comforting thought? Inwardly Tony shuddered, his brown eyes focusing on Loki’s. “As lovely as that sounds,” He coughed, “I know you. Guys like you always have a plan of some kind so let’s hear it. What’s the big plan this time or are you too afraid of getting your ass handed to you again?”  
  
Loki bared his teeth in a harsh parody of a smile. “I do not fear you Stark. In your current state you are not a threat to anyone, least of all me.”  
  
“Think so huh?” Tony chuckled, “Haven’t you heard of not underestimating your enemy? I’m game if you are!”  
  
Even still so obviously injured the man was unfailingly annoying in his confidence to which Loki couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “As amusing as that would be I am not here to bring you harm Stark.”  
  
“So, what then? If you aren’t here to kick my ass or have yours handed to you then what are you doing here? You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who just shows up to the party when there’s no party going on!”  
  
The mortal was right about one thing: this was far from a party. There was only so much fun to be found in baiting one with words and Loki found he was rapidly coming to the end of his tether. “Perhaps I am here because I lost the coin toss.” He sneered, spitting the words ‘coin toss’ like they were dirt in his mouth.  
  
“Coin toss?” Tony repeated incredulously as he stared at the god. “Wait, don’t tell me! The Asgardians think it’s a drinking game right? Guess the wrong side of the coin and take a drink! I bet Thor loves it! The guy can put away almost as much as I can and---“  
  
“By all the Norns Stark!” Loki’s sharp cry cut across Stark’s blathering before it could go any further. “Do you actually listen to anything anyone tells you or do you just continue to talk just to hear the sound of your voice?”  
  
“Hey you were the one who started it!” Tony retorted, feigning hurt. “You don’t toss out something like losing a coin toss and then not give details! Since when do you Asgardians even know what a coin toss is? Your brother laughed when we showed him what our coins looked like! He thought a quarter was part of a way to torture someone, which isn’t cool by the---“  
  
“For Hel’s sake Stark will you just shut up already!?” Ugh, Loki was getting a headache. It wasn’t worth the effort to put up with all this endless blathering! “Your captain and my brother thought it a wonderful idea to send me here to entertain you having wearied of your constant utterances!”  
  
“Wait wait wait. . .” Tony’s jaw dropped, rendering him momentarily speechless as he processed the information. “You’re telling me they sent you here to be my _babysitter?_!” His voice took on a hysterical note because: really? Loki as a baby sitter? It had to be a joke!  
  
Well, it seemed the man could be spurned into silence after all! Loki filed that away for useful information for later and plastered a smile onto his face. “I have never heard of this baby sitting you speak but indeed. How does it feel to have so annoyed your team that they feel need to send a nurse maid to watch over you?”  
  
“Y-you’re lying!” Tony declared, but boy did it even sound weak to his own ears. Whether he believed it or not it was all starting to add up and make sense: Steve not showing up when he was supposed to, not getting called out with the rest of the team, Loki showing up out of the blue. . . Damn, but this sucked.  
  
Loki chuckled, highly amused at being declared a liar when he was actually telling the truth! He opened his mouth to retort when the low drone of engines incoming made him change his mind. Smirking, he leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. “It seems our time together is drawing to an end, Stark. Your team is returning.”  
  
Oh thank god, backup was coming! Tony may have declared Loki the liar he was but he was willing to take his word on this one since apparently Loki has magic ears as well that can hear the quinjet’s engines. “Great! Now it’ll officially be a party! We’ll have drinks, talk, and maybe play a few party games. . .”  
  
“I think not.” Loki laughed with a shake of his head. “As entertaining as that sounds I shall have to decline. Now that my time as a nurse maid has come to an end there are other things I must attend. Farewell until next time Stark!” Green light wrapped around Loki’s form as he, still laughing, disappeared from sight.  
  
“Hey! Wait! Dammit!” Tony grumbled as he slumped down in his seat, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes. “You could have at least finished healing me asshole!” He yelled at the ceiling uncaring if Loki was there to hear him or not.  
  
Loki’s laughter filled the air in response and there came there *snap!* of fingers as green magic swirled around Tony’s form, blinding the man. He yelped and closed his eyes against the light, feeling a tingling fill his body and brain. It was a strange sensation that only grew stronger and stronger until the tingling became a white-hot stabbing running from head to toe. Tony screamed, his voice lost to the agony coursing through his veins. Just when he was sure he couldn’t take anymore the sensations began fading, the stabbing lessening before slowly fading away.  
  
When Tony finally came back to himself, panting and gasping, he couldn’t believe it. He ripped his shirt open, pulling away at the bandages wrapping around his chest. What was once deep blackish-purple bruises was now completely clear skin. “I’ll be damned,” Tony muttered, poking at himself experimentally. Loki had actually done it, he’d healed him!  
  
While Tony basked in his new health Loki’s disembodied voice floated down to him once more. “I’ve upheld my bargain Stark. Next time you will owe me a favor!” With that he was gone, leaving nothing but his laughter behind.


End file.
